Kesudahan..

Akhirnya aku cube beranikan diri untuk berterus terang dgn dia.. aku pun asik trtanya2 diri ini, btl kah ape yg aku buat ni.. atau ini hya akan menjauhkan lg jurang persahabatan aku dgn dia..?? mmg aku agak berani mati kali ni.. 1st time juga aku serius beranikn diri utk brterus trg dgn lelaki yg aku suka.. aku xmahu digelar egois n menipu perasaan sndiri.. at least i had tried my best rite?? its been a long time i've been through.. tis time i juz want to end it.. im not gonna cry anymore.. n i had no regret on this..

he.. is the best guy i ever known in my life.. one in thousand.. i dunno how to express it.. rare, the one who had everything i ever wanted.. but in real world, we cannot get all we want rite..? we call it fate.. maybe its already written 4 me n i accept it sincerely.. maybe Allah had planned something special 4 me.. i believe in God..

I let him go.. its ok.. i had prepared myself with any answer he will given.. actually im glad knew it early.. and im so happy he had same feelin that i have too.. so im not "syok sndiri lah".. and i feel so happy that he doesn't want me to run away from him n he want i keep closer to him.. being a good fren of him.. he likes me so much.. but we can't be together.. maybe its too late, there is no way turning back.. its fate for us.. maybe.. he had faithful, he tried so hard to keep his responsibility.. i dun want him to betray that girl.. coz i knew how its feel to been betrayed.. its hurt.. a lot.. i know he is a gud guy, really gud guy, he will not broken up girl's heart.. so.. we juz can keep this way, being more closer as a good fren.. maybe tis is the best way that we can do..

God.. i still love him.. if his name was not suit the best for me or he not written to be together wif me.. i let him go.. i'll be happy to see his happiness n see his smile everyday, enough for brighten my day.. may God protect him..

i had changed so much lately.. i tried so hard to improved myself.. i'm getting closer wif the one who had created me, God.. i getting closer wif my family.. i tried 2 moved my weakness.. i'll listened wif all my mum said.. i did so many things before i confess my feelin 2 him.. even the result not like what i want, its ok.. i will always remember what he had told me before, "be urself, ignore all the obstacle n ignore what people will say about u".. i wont hurt my self again.. learned to love myself n i keep moving forward.. i would never give up.. maybe one day, there will be a shine for me, we never know what happen in the future rite.. maybe God will send me someone better, who knows.. :) n i will keep smiling.. everyday~

(sorry for my bad english)

Nmpk ANTU kt SAUJANA

Ni berlaku dlm minggu lepas rsnya.. Ms tu aku igt lg kitorg kuar mkn mlm, ada Izzat, Zati, aku, Atie n Daisy.. pas anta bebudak CG balik, Izzat parking kt tempat biasa, kt kwsn bukit Restu lelaki n Saujana.. Jam menunjukkan hampir pukul 2 pg (kot).. Aku n Zati jalan nk ke tangga, aku trpandang kwsn tepi Saujana, tempat parking kete tp kt tepi sudut lereng bukit.. situ agak kelam skit.. aku nmpk susuk tubuh mcm manusia yg brkain putih n berambut panjang.. dia tunduk je cm pndg bawah.. aku xnmpk rupa dia.. cuak jugak aku time tu.. manusia mana yg nk pakai putih cm baju antu (hahahaha) pd waktu2 cmni, pkirku.. gile pe.. xnmpk kaki coz kena cover dgn kereta yg parking kt situ.. jauhnya anta 50 meter kot.. aku diam, aku xnk bgtau Zati.. aku pndg kali ke-2, mana la tau kot2 aku slh tgk.. menda tu ttp ada kt situ, btl2 nmpk susuk tubuh, kinda creepy.. aihhh aku pun blakon wat2 cool n jalan cm biasa balik Restu.. aku xbgtau dia sepanjang prjalanan kitorg.. 2@3 ari pastu br aku bgtau.. haha.. esoknya pas kejadian tu aku usha balik tmpt yg aku nmpk tu (wktu siang la), nk pastikan ape yg aku nmpk mlm td tu, mana la tau kot2 batu atau menda2 yg bole menyerupai ke kn.. aku tgk tempat tu kosong je.. aihhhh pelik juga.. ape yg aku nmpk mlm tu?? org kata kalo toleh kali ke-2 masih ada mknanya bkn antu.. hahaha.. mungkin jugak khayalan aku je.. Tuhan je la yg tahu ia btl atau tidak..

Painting - Arabian Gurl

Before.. drawing mode..

Step to level 2..
I had been trying so hard to make it perfect but it isn't.. poor of me.. the main purpose is for practice my coloring skill before i seriously involve on my final project..

I'm not tracing!!!! and this is my 1st painting that i used my new stroke like those on my previous drawing if u had seen it..

Actually i wanna do an Indian girl but finally it become Arabian girl.. -___-" .. FAILED!!

My fault coz being lazy.. I can change it into Indian girl by used more darken color on the skin n put a jewelry same way as my drawing.. but i won`t.. hahahaha~

Mimpi DIA

Pelik sungguh..
Aku pon xtau ape kes..
Ntah mcm mana leh mimpi dier plak mlm td..
Lupe plak mimpi psl pe tp yg aku igt menda yg mengembirakan..
Tahh.. mls nk pecaya pada mimpi..
Itu cume permainan tido.. okey~

Agaknya psl kebelakangan ni asik pkir psl dier jer..
Dh suroh otak ni berhenti tp ttp nk pkir dier juger..
Udah2 ler tu cik pira..

Solat Isktikarah pon xbuat lg..
Sampai ke tahap mcm ni ke??
Mmg la aku serius..
Ingat memain ke?? hahaha~
Adohh.. nape la aku suke sgt dgn die ni..

Agaknya mimpi ni petanda soh aku selesaikan hal ni cepat..
aihhh... nk brterus terang??
Setahun dh.. sbnrnya aku mls nk pkir hal ni..
Malunya kalo pmpn yg nk ckp dlu..
Psl pkir dh last minit kt sni..
Psni maybe dh xde pluang nk jumpe..

aihhh kalo aku buat kire sejarah juge le..
xpenah plak aku nk approach lelaki dlm life aku ni..
Senang nk ckp "suke" atau "syg" kt kwn2..
tp kt org yg btl2 dlm hati, xbole.. mmg susa..

Tgh cr ms yg sesuai utk ckp..
Penat dh sbnrnya..
Otak ni berserabut..

Lepas aku ckp, aku dh xnk pkir lg..
Sama ada keputusannya Ya atau Tidak..
terpulanglah..
Aku x mgharap utk bcinta lg..
Cuma aku nk cepat2 trow away menda alah ni dr kepala aku..
Biar cepat settle..
supaya aku bole fokus kt menda yg lbh penting..
Kerjaya..
Cita2..
dan
Impian..

Memori

Aku rs seolah2 part dari memori aku mmg hilang..
mungkin aku yg nk ia jd begitu..
ntah kenapa lepas aku clash dgn ex aku, otak aku damage skit..
lantak lah..

bila aku tgk gambar ex aku, aku xrs ape dh..
padahal dlu dialah org yg plg aku syg..
mungkin sbb aku suffer sgt dgn dia..
aku btl2 nk lupakn dia..

cm ape yg org ckp lah..
mind set..
xsgka kuasa mind set mmg hebat..
aku btl2 bertekad utk lupakn dia..
smpai aku btl2 lupa dia..
betul!! xigt!!
byk memori tntg dia dh hilang..
aku tgk pic dia pun aku rs dia org asing..
"mcm mana aku blh couple dgn dia dlu?"
seolah2 mcm aku xknl dia..
xdela xknl lgsg..ish.. perasaan tu mcm dia bkn org yg dekat dgn kita..
ntah sape2.. lebey kurg cmtu lah..
rsnya memori tntg dia pon 10% je..
hahaha bgusnya..
aku berjaya lupakan dia..

Bosan

Dah lama aku x meng"update" menatang ni..
xtau ape nk tulis..
minggu2 exam ni sgt membosankan..
keje menimbun~
sedikit hilang semangat..
painting aku xjd..
tp aku xnk give up~
hehe